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Often I find myself thinking…if only…
if only I went to bed earlier
if only I woke up earlier
if only the house was tidier
if only I did the kids lunches the night before
if only I was more loving towards the kids
if only I did more exercise
and on and on I would go
When I do this, I am so busy concentrating on my faults that I miss the opportunity to count my blessings. I miss the opportunity to recognise the good things.
When I do this, the feelings in my heart are pangs of regret, and there is no room to feel gratitude.
I am not saying that we should walk through our lives ignoring things that could be done better, so we miss the opportunities to improve.
I am saying that when our list of “if onlys….” come rolling out, we need to say, “yes, it would be nice if XXXXX happened, but it didn’t, and now I’m moving on” and then replace those thoughts with “I’m grateful…”
“I’m grateful that I have a nice warm house to wake up in”
“I’m that I have good health”
“I’m grateful that I spent some quality time with my husband last night”

Try and think of something good that happened from that “regret” you now feel.
Perhaps you wished you went to bed earlier last night, but maybe you need to take the time to appreciate that you went to bed late because you read a really good book. So you would then try eliminate the “if only…” with:
“I’m grateful that I was able to have ‘Me-Time’ last night”

The moment has gone, the decision has already been made, and we are left with the consequences to that action.
Yes you can recognise that perhaps a better decision could have been made, but don’t dwell on it, move on, and find the good in it and let gratitude fill your heart.

Sure I could have made my bed this morning, but I am grateful for a good night’s sleep.
Sure I could have woken up earlier, but I am grateful for the little time I had to myself this morning to reflect and to do some writing.

Today I am going to practice releasing the “if onlys” and replace them with “I’m grateful”.