Discovery dates are where you have a chance to “discover” a bit more about yourself. During discovery dates, you allot a certain amount of time (usually a couple of hours) to do something just for you! I think that each of us should place an importance on discovering what we love or don’t love. I also recognise that we are all at different stages:
“I have no idea what I like!” Been there! I bought myself a blank book. In it I would write down or stick in pictures of things that would make me smile, or get excited about. I would pay attention to my feelings when they would tell me “yeah, I like that” – then, in the book it would go. During my discovery dates I would either do something from my book that I became interested in, or I would test out the waters and try something completely new.
“I have a lot of things I like” Sometimes we know what we like, but we don’t carve out any time to do them. Perhaps you used to love to draw, but have stopped. Perhaps you would read, if you just had the time. Use the discovery date to follow these interests, and try and think about how you could extend that interest – be creative and think outside the box.
How often? Personally, I found that doing them once a week was best. Only because you get into the habit of putting aside time for yourself - which is really important. Having said that fortnightly or monthly is better than nothing. Just make sure that your aim is to do it weekly eventually. You are worth that!
Day or night? I have done them in the evenings when the little kids were in bed. I have gone out for a few hours on a Saturday. A couple of times I have done a babysitting swap with a friend during the day. Recently my DD2 has had a drop off at Playcentre, so I have committed to doing a discovery date during those few hours she is there. Whatever works with your family situation.
By myself? This is a time that you set aside to discovery what makes you feel happy inside. I wouldn’t recommend going with a friend or family member who drains your energy and focuses on themselves (it may even be a good idea not to tell them, because then it would be awkward to say you don’t want them to come..hehehe). On the other hand, I don’t think it would be a problem to be with someone who would add to your experience rather than detract from it.
I have two criteria for discovery dates:
They have to be completely self-fish
The thought of it makes you smile
Committing to doing discovery dates frequently is basically saying to yourself that you are worth spending time on
Come back and share with me what you have been doing!