Q&A: Date Nights

couple_laughing_on_sofa-300x199

Date night has become quite important for us because we are often out or busy during the week (I’m sure you can relate). We let our kids know we are having a date night, and that it is important for mummy and daddy to spend time together. I’m looking forward to getting a babysitter to go out, but I don’t think that should stop “in-house” date nights ;)

Here are some of the things we have done for our “date night” at home:

  • How well do you know me Quiz. This was adapted from a quiz my hubby’s cousin did for her son’s 3rd birthday. You each have a piece of paper and pen. You take turns asking a question like, “what is your favourite dessert?” or “what is your favourite tv programme?”. On your piece of paper for all the questions you put down TWO answers – one correct, and one to trick them. Continue to do this until your page is full (or you can’t think of any more questions). You swap pieces of papers, then the other tries and guesses what you would have answered to each question.
  • Research Family History. We did one of my hubby’s lines and was amazed at the information that you can find online. Try www.familysearch.org. You can google the census information and also websites about the cities and towns in 1800s. I enjoyed looking at the census the most, because it gave you a little peek into their lives eg listing of occupation, age etc
  • Rent a game. I think you can also rent a Play Station console if you don’t own one. Choose a game that both of you will enjoy. We chose the Buzz quiz games, which were really fun. I think borrowing guitar hero would be quit fun too ;)
  • Idea jar. This is something we did when we were first married. Write date ideas and put them in the jar. His ideas are one colour, and my ideas are on another colour. So one week we would choose something he would want to do, and then the next week, we would choose something I would want to do.
  • Watch some videos online. We have watched some inspirational messages and talked about it afterwards. We have also just cruised the net to see what silly funny videos are out there.
  • Rent a movie and dessert. It is so great to come to the end of the week, and just relax and unwind. What better way to do that then grab a movie and make a quick and easy dessert (I recommend vanilla ice cream with Aunt Betty’s Extreme Steamed Pudding Chocolate, with a few berries with icing sprinkled on top…yum! You buy and keep all these items in the freezer ready for date night. The pudding only takes 60 seconds in the microwave and you can get it for less than $4 for a pack of two! gotta love it!)

aunt bettys extreme steamed pudding chocolate

Valuing what we have: Day 7

I have finished my 1 week challenge of taking pride in our home and valuing what we have.

LESSONS LEARNED:

  • Doing little projects each day helped me to combat the feelings of being overwhelmed.
  • The projects didn’t take that long, and can be dotted throughout the day. I found that timing the jobs was helpful.
  • When you complete a project (like de-cluttering and finding a proper home for things) you end up reaping the benefits from that moment on. Benefits like having less stress at looking at that unfinished project and saving time because things are orderly.
  • If you keep on top of your chores you have more time to “play”!
  • It is not unreasonable to get the kids involved.  Some days they were more willing than others, but it is important to persevere as it is a valuable life lesson that we are teaching them.
  • De-cluttering feels good!

 

If you want to take better care of what you have, and get your family involved, here are some tips for you:

  • Make it a family effort. Share with the family that there is going to be a new family ethos or culture, where “we take care of our things”. Share examples of how they will be involved in this vision.
  • Take the time to teach the children. How are the children going to know how to treasure our things, unless we take the time to show them? We need to be aware of and take advantage of the learning opportunities in our children’s lives.
  • De-clutter. Go through our stuff and get rid of things we don’t need. This reduces mess and saves us time and effort (cleaning it up, storing it, etc etc). It also makes room for things that we really do want to keep.
  • A place for everything, and everything in its place. When everyone knows where things belong, clean up is easier. Choosing appropriate “homes” also helps prevent items getting wrecked.
  • Set an example. As parents we need to lead by example. How can we expect the kids to take on this challenge, if we are too tired to put any effort in?
  • Buy quality things that will last long. Get out of the habit of buying cheap things, that will eventually break. We will save money in the end.
  • Fix and mend. When things start to break or tear, fix it up or get rid of it. This again is building on the family ethos of “we take care of our things”.
  • Think before you buy. Where will we put it? Do we need it? Will it break easily? How hard is the upkeep?
  • Take pride in what you do have. Whether our possessions are as old as our great great grandma or our decor is more shabby than chic…we still can take pride in what we do have. When we let our possessions fall in disarray, we are basically saying it is ok for us to live that way, WE need to have pride in ourselves. We are worth it!
  • Do a little, often. Have little projects you are going to tackle every day. This can be random areas, or a regular (easy) cleaning routine. Flylady’s sneak peak for the week, has daily jobs in their chosen area for the week.

Perhaps in the end it is embracing a type of minimalist lifestyle where we:

  • get rid of what we don’t need
  • take good care of what we do have
  • do not become a slave to the things we own (and the upkeep of it)
  • therefore freeing ourselves to value what really matters most…which are the people in our lives.

Family on the Beach

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How do we let go of what we don’t need and value what we have?

Valuing what we have: Day 1

Valuing what we have: Day 2

Valuing what we have: Day 3

Valuing what we have: Day 4

Valuing what we have: Day 5

Valuing what we have: Day 6

My 5 links for the week

http://www.centsationalgirl.com/ – This gal actually does seem to live in a magazine style house – but… she shares tips on how to do it on a budget and with a bit of creativity.

http://dandeedesigns.blogspot.com/2008/10/want-need-wear-read.html – A great idea on how they simplified Christmas gift giving.

http://magical-mama.livejournal.com/ – I stumbled across this blog this week, and I just love the energy of her posts!

http://www.fundraiseonline.co.nz/GabeMartinez/ – This kid is too much. He is my friend’s son and he just writes a wonderful letter about why he going to shave his head for charity. Big ups to him and his parents who have raised him so well.

http://www.wellington.govt.nz/news/display-item.php?id=3618 (For Wellingtonians) – This article tells you were they have recently upgraded play areas. We visited Johnsonville’s Branscombe Street play area & Khandallah play area and the kids really enjoyed the new equipment.

Valuing what we have: Day 6

Yeah! Saturday! We were blessed with another sunny day!

DD8 and I took part in the Heart Foundation Heart Walkers Wellington 2009. It was really great! My mum and I did it  last year, and this year I was lucky enough to participate with my daughter.

http://www.heha.org.nz/assets/resized/sm/Event5468/images/hvek99x4hz/Heart%20Walker%20A3%20Poster-278-278-268-368.jpg

CELEBRATIONS:

  • Taking pride in our home: We were able to reap the benefits of keeping on top of the housework this week and had a rest from any cleaning! This doesn’t mean that our house was spotlessly clean, we just didn’t need to catch up on a week’s worth of housecleaning (like we sometimes have to do on a Saturday).
  • Taking pride in our car: Kids all took their bits and pieces out of the car when we got home.
  • We were able to find all the things we needed for our outing easily. Sunscreen, picnic blanket, pinic bag and water bottles were all in their “homes”.

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT:

  • I still have some things that we used on our outing that need to be returned to their “homes”.
  • 2 Loads of laundry needs to be put away now!

How do we let go of what we don’t need and value what we have?

Valuing what we have: Day 1

Valuing what we have: Day 2

Valuing what we have: Day 3

Valuing what we have: Day 4

Valuing what we have: Day 5

Valuing what we have: Day 7

Date night Friday (and usually Saturday night too)

Hubby and I have date night on Friday night, and lately on Saturday too. Like most of you, we don’t let hiring a babysitter get in the way of us having a date. Tonight my hubby came across a video online about some of the brain myths out there.

This is what Dr John Medina who is the director of The Brain Center for Applied Learning Reserach at Seattle Pacific University had to say.

“Brain Myth: If I just teach my kid French and German and calculas before the age of 4 they are going to grow up to be really really smart…..if I make this intellectual hot house they are going to be really smart.

You know what the single greatest predictor of academic success is?

It’s the emotional stability of the home!

So you want to get your kid into Harvard? Go home and love your husband!”

Photo by Brian OrionThe Kiss

Happy dating everyone!

Valuing what we have: Day 5

I have been amused this week at what mysterious objects that seem to randomly appear in the bathroom. Today it was 3 magnetix balls and our mysterious elf also played with the bath toys while they were at it.

I had a discovery date today :) Photos and details to come!

Oriental Parade, Wellington

Photo by Juggling Motherhood

CELEBRATIONS:

  • Taking pride in our home: Wiped down our door and some walls while the kids got ready for school.
  • Taking pride in our home: Washed the sheets and duvet cover from our bed.
  • Taking pride in our home/car: Just doing the usual routines and chores to keep the house tidy. Everyone pitching in means that we have more time for play. Today was a BEAUTIFUL day in Wellington! We went to Khandallah Park after school, so we had dinner a bit later, but we got everything done in the end.
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Photo by Juggling Motherhood

  • Enjoyed all the space that we have been keeping tidy over the week.

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT:

  • Organise our CDs.
  • Put away the washing.

How do we let go of what we don’t need and value what we have?

Valuing what we have: Day 1

Valuing what we have: Day 2

Valuing what we have: Day 3

Valuing what we have: Day 4

Valuing what we have: Day 6

Valuing what we have: Day 4

Branscombe Play Area

Photo by Juggling Motherhood

 

CELEBRATIONS:

  • We arrived home from Playcentre late today. Thankfully I had the rice cooking, so I was able to quickly whip up some sushi after I had some some down time. Yum! I set the timer so we could focus and finish our after dinner chores quickly. Since the sun was still shinging we went out for our “family fun time”. One of the local parks (Branscombe Street Play area) had recently been upgraded, so we decided to check it out. It was so worth it! They had a new feature called the “super nova”. It is a spining cone. It kind of looks like the top part of the ships mast the way the ropes go from the circle at the bottom to the top of the “mast” to form a cone. All of the kids had a blast!
  • We haven’t been home much today, so there wasn’t much stuff to clean up.
  • Taking pride in our car. We all took our bits and pieces out of the car, and put them away.

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT:

  • I want to de-clutter our bookcase in our family room and make it look tidier.
  • The big big job of going through the kids clothes and getting rid of or storing clothes they have grown out of.

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Valuing what we have: Day 7

Fun Kids Activity: Sticker Tag

A lot of the weird and wonderful games that come to my head are unplanned and totally random! This is a game I made up at Playcentre today.

Sticker Tag

  • Everyone has stickers (I just used address labels and we ripped them up into smaller pieces)
  • The adult is the one who all the kids are trying to put stickers on. (I found it was easier for the 3-4 year olds to be able to handle focusing on the adult, rather than each other)
  • The adult also can put stickers on the kids. (I would ran after them and say “I’m going to give you a sticker disease!”)
  • You can take your stickers off yourself and put them on kids, or the kids can take theirs off and put them on the adult.

We have a wonderful outdoor area, so we were utilising our wonderful fort and long slide to make the chasing even more fun.

It was helpful to know the personalities of the children. I was aware of the ones who got quite flustered and upset at being “caught”, so I would approach them and would say, “shall I put a sticker on you?” or there would be others who would be unsure about all this chasing and catching business, so I would give them some stickers and stay still while they placed stickers on me (good for the younger ones). Then there were the ones who get all excited at being approached by the “bady” (me) and would want to react by throw something or be rough, so I would approach them slower and also took the opportunity to teach them about using gentle hands.

The kids and I had a great run around. They were so fast!

Valuing what we have: Day 3

CELEBRATIONS:

  • I started making dinner on time today. This meant that after the kids did their chores, we could have “family fun time”. Tonight we played hide and seek in the dark (see Fave Five: Fun and easy games). The kids are soo good at hiding! It was a great way to end the day!
  • Taking pride in our home: Spent 20 minutes vacuuming the house before we did the school pick up. Yay! I grabbed a plastic supermarket bag and tied it to my belt loop in my jeans so that I could gather any foreign objects while I was vacuuming. I was able to re-home a hairclip and some new toothpaste???
  • Taking pride in our car: When we got home from school, I encouraged the kids to take out all their bits and pieces again. I gathered up any rubbish and quickly vacuumed it.
  • Taking pride in our things: I thought I would rotate some of the toys we haven’t played with in our while. I took the crate out with all the games that required batteries - mini laptops, musical games etc. I think taking pride in our things means lovingly playing with our toys, and getting rid of the toys that we no longer play with.
  • De-cluttered: Took the opportunity to de-clutter the crate while we had it out.
  • Throw away: A musical toy which half the piano worked.
  • Taking pride in our home: Reminded the kids during the day to put away the things they are no longer playing with. Even compared to yesterday, they are getting faster at tidying up.
  • Taking pride in our home: After the kids went to bed I cleared my desk!

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT:

  • When I vacuum, I might attach two bags to by belt loop next time – one on each side. One for re-homing objects, and one for rubbish. Could have done with this when I was vacuuming the hallways, and there wasn’t a rubbish bin handy. (Let’s hope that no one comes to the door while I am looking so trendy!)
  • I need to find a way to keep all my “to do” stuff together in an organised way on my desk. The reason most of the stuff ended up on my desk was because I was thinking I needed to ”do” something with it.
  • It is amazing how easily foreign objects find their way into the wrong rooms. Tonight I found another toilet roll on the floor of the bathroom with toilet paper scattered around it (DS4 wanting to make toilet roll men). A cup from the kitchen and a random part of a toy found their way to the bathroom sink. I wonder what I will find in the bathroom tomorrow night ;)

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Valuing what we have: Day 1

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Valuing what we have: Day 5

Valuing what we have: Day 6

Valuing what we have: Day 7

Valuing what we have: Day 2

CELEBRATIONS:

  • It was so helpful to have lots of bench space in the kitchen this morning. My daughter was turning 7, and we have a tradition where they get breakfast in bed. So my hubby and I were both in the kitchen making the special breakfast and getting the school & Playcentre lunches ready without tripping over each other.
  • Taking pride in our home: As we were about to leave the house, I was thinking to myself, “I wish I allowed enough time to clear and wipe this bench (the one we ate off)”. Then I thought about my goal from yesterday of “just doing it”, and started to quickly clear away the dishes and did a quick wipe down. It took only a few minutes!
  • Taking pride in our car and our things: We all took stuff out of the car and put them away in the right place.
  • Taking pride in our home & Found a home: I gathered DD2′s books from her room and stood them up on her table, leaning against each other. When she went get a new book for me to read to her, she was having trouble when the books kept falling down, and not standing up properly. After she went to bed, I moved the little table next to her bed and placed the books in one of my spare wicker baskets and put on the table.
  • Taking pride in our home: After I put DD2 to bed, I wiped down the walls by the stairs. DD8 said, “I want to help!” hehehe. So she tackled the pencil marks, and I did the finger marks. Aaaahhh..felt good when we finished!
  • Taking pride in our home: I cleaned the bathroom and rid it of all the foreign objects (toys) that found its way in there. There was a bowl from the kitchen? a car? some dolls clothes? wooden birthday candles but no wooden cake?
  • De-cluttered & Found a home: I have been a mum for nearly 9 years, and I have FINALLY bought those mesh bags that you can hang up to keep your bath toys in. So I de-cluttered the toys and put the bag to use.
  • Throw away: Used shampoo bottle. Old bath toys. Old toilet rolls that didn’t make it into the bin!

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT:

  • The car still needs work.
  • My desk is in a shocking state.
  • I want to vacuum the house!
  • More walls to wipe.
  • I want to start timing how long my cleaning projects take, because it doesn’t feel long.

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Valuing what we have: Day 1

Valuing what we have: Day 3

Valuing what we have: Day 4

Valuing what we have: Day 5

Valuing what we have: Day 6

Valuing what we have: Day 7

Valuing what we have: Day 1

CELEBRATIONS:

  • We shared the goal with our family about “valuing what we have” during Family Home Evening tonight. We showed a video that hubby and I took earlier. Hubby had the video camera and pretended to be a friend that had not been to the house before, and I was showing him around our house – he saw the messy shoes by the door, baskets of random stuff in the hallway – you name it, he saw it. We talked about all sorts with the kids. We also emphasied that we want our house to be nice, because it feels good to live in a tidy, well cared for house.
  • Taking pride in your home, is part of valuing what you have. And a way to take pride in your home, is to keep it tidy. So I will put some stuff under the heading, ”taking pride in our home” whenever I do some tidying.
  • Another way we can value what we have is by separating what is valuable from what is not. I will be posting things I have “decluttered”, “thrown away”, and stuff I will be “giving away” under headings too.
  • Once we decide what we value and want to keep, we need to find it an appropriate home. A home where it is easy to put away, looks uncluttered and where it won’t get wrecked. I will be posting stuff under “found a home”. When something doesn’t have an obvious home, it makes cleaning up harder because it isn’t just a two step process – found an item, put away an item (feel good). It becomes – found an item, think about where to put it, walk to a place, too full, walk to another place, doesn’t really go there, give up, put it with a bunch of other random stuff (feel defeated and guilty)
  • Taking pride in our home: Wiped down the cabinet doors in the kitchen while I was making dinner.
  • De-cluttered & Found a home: I decluttered two of my kitchen cabinets. I found suitable homes for my appliances that were cluttering up my bench space which I needed for my cooking. Also I found a good home for my vases thanks to new space in my cabinets.
  • Throw away: Old pan, old breastpump. Lots of random bits that were collected when were speed cleaning and “hid” the items in the cabinet.
  • Give away: A random glass plate and a random plastic cup.
  • Taking pride in our home: Wiped down the kitchen benches, that were now clear of my breadmaker and rice cooker. Gave some TLC to my gas cooker and made it sparkle.
  • Taking pride in our home: After putting DD2 bed, I put away some of her clothes on my way out.

ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT:

  • Make sure the kids and I pick up our stuff as we leave the room or car.
  • No longer close my eyes to things that need to be done because the job is too big. Instead, break the job down into managable steps, and just do 1 thing, or 5 minutes worth. Challenge myself to do something.
  • Hubby is a minamlist by nature, where I am one in training. His tip was to always make time to tidy up before moving on to another activity. I’m sure that a lot of you do that already ;)
  • If something doesn’t have a home, find one.

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Valuing what we have: Day 2

Valuing what we have: Day 3

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Valuing what we have: Day 5

Valuing what we have: Day 6

Valuing what we have: Day 7

How do we let go of what we don’t need and value what we have?

Ugh! “Another scratched CD” I thought to myself as I heard a song skip while I was driving this afternoon.

The thought that kept popping into my head after that was, “we don’t take care of our stuff”, “how are we going to change that?!”.

I could blame it on being too busy, not having good systems in place, having too much stuff, being too easy-going etc etc. All of that plays a part, BUT I think that we are at a stage where we need to instill in each of us, a family ethos that “We take care of our things”. The fact is, when we FEEL it is too hard, we leave it (case and point: sorting the clothes that the kids have grown out of). We need to change the way we think and our habits. We need to tackle a little…often. That way it won’t be an overwhelming job, and we will avoid burn out.

So this is what I will be tackling this week, amidst birthdays and birthday preparation! yikes!

If you have any tips along the way, I would love to hear them!

Valuing what we have: Day 1

Valuing what we have: Day 2

Valuing what we have: Day 3

Valuing what we have: Day 4

Valuing what we have: Day 5

Valuing what we have: Day 6

Valuing what we have: Day 7