There is a monster called the “Yes Beast”. It does not dwell in a lot of people, but in the people it does dwell in, it comes out when they are asked to do something, or to attend something. In Jim Carey’s movie “Yes Man” he had to learn to say ”Yes” to things. For me, I am having to learn to say “no” to my “Yes Beast”.

These are some of the traits of the Yes Beast:

• If it is a good idea, it will want to commit to it.
• If there is space in the diary, it will want to commit to it.
• It forgets about other projects it is currently doing, and thinks it has more time that it really does.
• It does not think things through.
• It often doesn not write down what it has committed to.
• It is a people pleaser.
• It thinks “She’ll be right!” (or in non-kiwi terms: “It will all work out…somehow!”)

It sprang up this Sunday and I said yes to 4 things! Actually the beast tentatively said yes to them. The only thing holding the beast back, was knowing the hubby would not appreciate the “beast” single-handedly making plans for the family (again!).

I am a “serial volunteer“, therefore I have to work really hard to tame the Yes Beast. Here are some tips that may help:

• Just because it is good, doesn’t mean you have to do it.
• Don’t be afraid to take time to think about it. I really wanted to do parent tutor reading at school, but I didn’t sign up straight away. I thought about the commitment and whether I could fit it into my schedule. After weighing it all up, I told them when I was available to help. Taking time to think about it means that you are less likely to agree to something and then stress out or even back out.
• Think about how it will impact the family.
• Carry a diary/planner. My mother-in-law does this. When someone asks her to do something, she gets out her diary/planner (she calls it her ”brain”) and she can instantly see whether she can fit it in or not. This also works well to show the people doing the asking, that you are a busy busy bumble bee!
• Be aware of what you have already committed to. Not only outside of the home, but be aware of your projects and needs of your home and family. The Yes Beast isn’t really aware of all the projects it has on its plate. If it did, it would never agree to do anything else!!
• Work on what’s already on your list, before taking on more.
• The world will not fall apart if you say “no”.
• The more you say “no”, the better you become at it. It will even start to feel good – freeing!
• Start saying “Yes” to what is really important.
• Let it go. The Yes Beast does not like letting people down, or feeling like it is not pulling it’s weight. But we can’t be everything to everyone, we just have to make sure we aren’t disappointing the wrong people.

You can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you’ll never please everyone all the time.

Good luck taming your “Yes Beast”!!