Tag Archives: Empowerment

Where’s Wally? Where’s Mummy!?! Getting out from behind the camera

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So here’s what I have realised. I have hardly any photos of myself!

Making more of an effort to get out from behind the camera has been on my mind, on and off over the last couple of years. We even bought a smaller camera with the idea that the kids could take photos of the family…and hopefully with me in it too!

Then a few days ago, I was asked to submit a photo for something. I went searching and I was shocked at how few photos I am in. Absolutely shocked.

If I wanted to change this, I needed to be a wee bit more demanding, “ok, now take a photo of me!”

I also needed to get over myself.

I remember last year, when I really grasped the fact that, how we look every day: no make up, our hair doing all sorts of funny things and daggy clothes etc, is how our kids see us every…single…day. So they are going to love that photo of us even if we are “unpolished”, because that person they are hugging in the photo is their reality.

For my children, I want them to have photos of me with them.

And for me, I want to accept and love the person in the photo….au naturel. ;)

I have been challenging myself, by taking opportunities to snap photos of myself. I just set up the tripod and away I go.

Sometimes, instead of using the tripod I get the kids to take the photos.

I didn’t realise that this exercise would reward me with such fun (and funny) photos. None of these photos were taken by another adult.  The shots inside were on a tripod (I bought a bundle similar to this S1800 model where you will see my mini tripod). The shots outside were taken by me or the kids using our Fujifilm FinePix S1600. (I usually shoot with a Canon 10D)

This is the mantra: It isn’t about perfection, it is about the memories….now breath! And take the photo! ;)

Participating in life. Making our choices more meaningful

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Thank you for the all the lovely encouraging comments by the way, they always make me smile!

Lara from The Golden Seven said in the comments yesterday, “You’ve just about convinced me to come to Wellington on the next plane and sit at your front window and stare out of it all day.”

It made me think about how I really don’t stop and sit and admire the view as often as I should. Those times I took the photographs, my children were the ones who recognised the beauty and came to get me. And where was I? I sure wasn’t looking out of the window to notice the beauty that was unfolding right outside.

So, I have been thinking a lot this morning. About how there are things to be appreciated around us, but we may not be paying attention.

Do I take my blessings for granted?

How good am I at connecting with each child on a daily basis?

How well do I notice the world I’m living in and what we can learn from it, and what it has to offer?

Am I missing the beauty that is unfolding right in front of me? 

Am I there physically, but my mind is elsewhere?

Could I be more engaged?

Can I change my actions, to make a positive impact on my life and my family?

I let these thoughts jumble around my head during my discovery date, while I did some writing, planning, shopping and photography.

After pondering all morning, I really wanted to make more meaningful choices in my life.

After picking up my 3 year old from Playcentre, I decided we were going to have a picnic by the beach. We went home, I did the laundry, and got everything ready for the picnic and off we went to Oriental Parade.

It was looooovely.

After an early dinner, we all jumped on the tramp once we finished our chores. We even did a spot of cloud watching.

One of the kids wanted to go to ride their bikes at the school (something they have asked, but it always seemed to be at the “wrong time”) and I thought “yeah, let’s do that!”.

So this is my journey this week….to make my actions more consistent with how I ultimately want to live my life.

If you have any tips on how you have kept you and your family from falling into the trap of a bad version of a grounds hog day, let me know!

Inspirational Quote: Shine!

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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkenss that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsiously give other people permission to do the same.”

MARIANNE WILLIAMSON

From her book “A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles”

At “Marta Writes” I stumbled across her “quote wall“. I JUST LOVE THE IDEA!

(I secretly covet Marta’s quote wall…shhhh!)

Then I realised that I haven’t put a quote up for a while! I love quotes, they make me feeling like pulling my shoulders back and stand a little taller!

I *heart* quotes!

Motherhood: Riding the rollercoaster

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I used to love rollercoasters. The scarier the better. I loved the rollercoaster theme park “Six Flags” in America! Since becoming a parent however, (and therefore mortal) I seem to be a bit more cautious.

I think that motherhood sometimes feels like you are riding a rollercoaster. There are highs and there are lows…and I’m referring to just one day!

Today I had a wonderful day catching up with friends who I haven’t seen since Christmas time. It was blissful. Fast forward to the early evening, and our family are all grumpy in one way or another and I just want to hid under a rock. Then fast forward again to the evening, and (I emerged from the rock) calm was restored and I relished in the special time I got to have with my kids and hubby.

Hopefully you can relate.

I think the trick to riding the rollercoaster is:

  • Get out of the lows. When a difficult moment happens, don’t dwell on it and let it spoil your ride…Re-group, Recover and Re-commit to trying to have a good day.
  • Savour the highs. There are good moments within every day, it is up to us whether we stop and notice it, or close our eyes and miss it all together.
  • Enjoy the ride. The ride maybe the same, but our attitude towards the ride will produce a totally different outcome.
  • Ride it with others. The truth is, most, if not all mothers are on their own version of a rollercoaster ride where they feel out of control and sometimes isolated. If we reach out and support each other, we will be able to manage through this ride a lot better!

Gratitude and Words to Live by

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First of all…..A big thanks! You’ve made my day:

  • To my kids: They have been playing so nicely together today. Who would have thought that a random mixture of my children’s toys and my old toys would hold the attention of my 4 kids for half the day.

  • To those who visited my site: It was great having so many visitors come to my little neck of the woods.

  • For all my lovely comments: Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. I enjoyed reading them, they made me smile.
  • For this beautiful day: As I write this (as corny as it sounds) the birds are churping and the sun is shining! (oh! now I hear a lawnmower…ooo fresh grass smell, neat!)

Second of all, I just wanted to share some mantras that have been running through my head today:

  • “Make life easier on yourself”: I found socks and pillowcases scattered around the hallways that the kids had obviously got to. Doh! I forgot to put them away yesterday! I decided I was going to encourage myself to “make life easier on myself” by putting things away PROPERLY. I also found the mantra helped when I was deciding on what to cook for dinner, and what chores to tackle today.
  • “Bring out the best in others”: What if, in an idealic world, we treated each other in a way that brought out the best in each other. This maybe easier to do with a loved one, because we know them better. On the other hand, it is harder, because sometimes we may fall into a trap of taking our loved ones for granted, and/or treating strangers better.

I know that with my children, I can bring out the best in them if they feel like I care, and if the atmosphere is relaxed. Simple things I’ve done today:

I have held my child’s gaze longer and smiled wider.

I have tried to help my children get things they needed for their play, and not always said “later” or “after I….”

What are you feeling grateful for?

Do you have a mantra that you live by?

Inspirational Quote: Do the best that YOU can

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“We each do the best we can. My best may not be as good as your best, but it’s my best. The fact is that we know when we are doing our best and when we are not. If we are not doing our best, it leaves us with a gnawing hunger and frustration. But when we do our level best, we experience a peace.”

MAJORIE PAY HINCKLEY

We know better, then why don’t we do it?

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RightWrongGo

Why is it that we keep on making the same mistakes?

In the General Conference Book Club we are reading Elder Bednar’s talk “More Diligent and Concerned at Home”.  A theme that was repeated in his talk was that:  “what we know is not always reflected in what we do.” When he mentioned this he talked  about “Expressing Love – and Show it”, “Bear Testimony – and Live it”, and “Be Consistent”. I found that it applied in so many other aspects of my life.

The idea of “what we know is not always reflected in what we do”, came up a couple of times today. I was getting the house “guest ready”, and was cleaning the bathroom. I thought to myself, I KNOW there is an easy way to keep the bathroom clean. Swish and Swipe! (a flylady term, that basically means that you wipe down your vanity and toilet every day, which takes a few minutes, and means it is always guest ready!) I KNOW this, but I do not DO IT!

The other time I thought about “what we know is not always reflected in what we do”, was when I was remembering back to an essay I wrote about planning. I had come up with a great system that suited me, yet I stopped using it for a while. I KNOW how to keep a planner, but I do not DO IT!

Why do we sabotage ourselves? Why do we regress? Why do we revert to doing things the “wrong” way when we KNOW there is a better way to DO IT.

I guess we are not super women, we have our weaknesses and we have our good days and bad days. How can we keep on top of things, so that we can most consistently be our best self?

I thought the following ideas may be useful:

Decide what areas you want to improve on and then prioritise the areas that need the urgent attention. Hey! You can’t change it all in one week. Although it is frustrating to not have everything the way you want it straight away, it isn’t realistic darling!

Take the time to make a plan, and share it with someone. Once again be realistic! No use making your goal so huge that you are setting yourself up for failure! Think small and achievable - trust me!

Review each night how you went. Celebrate the victories and take note of ways you can improve the next day. We do not take time to really take stock of the good things that happen during the day. We are quick to remember what went wrong, and won’t allow ourselves to focus on the good. We wouldn’t let our friends get away with that, why should we do it to ourselves?

Stick it out! We often slide out of the good habits, thinking it won’t make any difference. Then we eventually have to pay the price for those choices that we make.

Accept that it will take effort. Push through the hard times, with the thought that every good decision you make, will make it a bit easier in the long run. The habits that require sacrifice and effort are the hardest to establish, so help yourself out by putting up a visual reminder of what your goal or goals are.

Get your “self talk” on your side. Banish those negative thoughts that come into your head, by replacing it with something positive and encouraging. “You can do this!” “Just set the timer for 5 mins, and do it!” “You know you will feel better after you do it” “It will be so worth it” etc etc

Share your achievements. It’s great to share your journey with someone. You can have someone to be accountable to AND you have someone to cheer you on, encourage you and share you achievements with!

Do you have a good way to keep on track with goals? Do you want to share an area that you are working on, so we can be your support crew?

Tune into you

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Today I have learned that one of the best gifts that you can give to yourself is the gift of time with youreslf.

Sometimes I feel like I am on a strong current that is pulling me along. It especially feels like that when I have a big list of things to do. I also feel like that when there are things that I wish I could be doing better, but don’t have the time or energy to do them.

  • Do I take time to reflect on my life?
  • Do I reflect on how I spend my day?
  • Are my priorities in order?
  • Am I using my time effectively?
  • Am I living a balanced life?
  • Am I recognising the joyful moments?
  • Could I be making better choices?
  • Do I have the courage to make different choices?

The more and more off course I get, the more I realise that I have stopped asking those questions.

I have realised that it is so important to take ourselves out of our busy lives, and give ourselves the gift of being with ourselves, and allowing our inner voice to be heard and to listen to our instincts.

You may have  ways that you  slow down and get in touch with yourself. Some people meditate.  Being close to nature helps to centre me. I just love looking out over the ocean, it has such a calming and rejuvenating effect.

I am going to commit to waking  up early and to write my random thoughts in my journal again. It is amazing how answers come to you and things get solved as you write things out.